I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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