it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize