the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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