Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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