Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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