Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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