I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
