I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
