brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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