Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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