I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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