My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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