just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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