I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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