yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
