I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
