I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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