In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
