By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
