I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
