Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize