I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
