No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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