I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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