im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
