TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
