I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize