Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
