i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
