hotel room ftw
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
