Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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