I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
zippers are such a cool invention
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We are all done wearing pants today
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize