Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
