I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
