ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
