I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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