'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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