well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
