best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
