That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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