worst night to have a conscience
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
