I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize