How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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