I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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