....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
