morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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