And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
