PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Less talking, more tequila
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
