i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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