At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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