so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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