They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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