some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My balls are so social today.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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