I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
