my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
