I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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