Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
