i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize